Somehow, I tend to interpret that as "five years from now." Don't worry about what you're going to do after grad school. Just worry about the next four years and I'll take it from there.
Sure, that's true. But if I interpret it that way, that still leaves a whole lot of stuff that I have to deal with myself. That still leaves me days like today, where I literally worried myself physically sick about whether I'm "meant" to stay in my clinical program or grab this research idea that's rattling around in my head and leap off into a Ph.D. program instead.
I need to remember - He really meant tomorrow. Do not worry about January 14, 2016. Only worry about January 13. Period.
Don't worry about your gigantic remediation meeting next week. Today's worries are sufficient.
Don't worry about which program you're supposed to be in. Today's worries are sufficient.
Don't worry about whether that nice guy will ask you to lunch with him tomorrow. Today's worries are sufficient.
Don't worry about your first day back to clinic after a long vacation. Today you can practice; you can't do the clinic visit today, so only worry about the practicing. Today's worries are sufficient.
Don't worry about organizing an on-site visit to give a speech about hearing conservation in two months. Today's worries are sufficient.
Don't worry about finding an externship and moving away from home for the first time. Today's worries are sufficient.
I can't reach into the future and manipulate any of these things today. I can prepare for the meeting, carefully research all of my options with the two programs, pray for God's leading on the nice guy, practice my clinic procedures, read over the speech assignment, and begin praying about my externship. That's the stuff I can worry about. But as for the actual meeting and the actual guy and the actual clinic day and the actual speech and the actual externship, those are all "tomorrow" problems and they are all in God's hands, not mine. Therefore, worrying about them is not allowed, and only results in dreary wandering through a dreary day with a churning stomach and the shudders.
God is Master of all of Time, present and actively working in every second of all existence simultaneously; but He has very kindly divided this unfathomable thing into linear, bite-sized chunks we call days. One day is more than enough for me to handle - if I want to learn about faith and avoid stomach ulcers, I need to learn to let Him handle the things in the future, and just to focus on the tasks He set right in front of me. Today. Not tomorrow. Today.
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Oh Vickie! You have hit a subject that has been on my mind for so long! And a lesson that has been SO difficult for me to learn. Especially this past week leading up to my first follow-up appointment.
ReplyDeleteI really worked myself into a physically sick state (crying, pacing, could not eat, felt like I was going crazy...) Saturday night. I have been SOOO... terrified the cancer is going to come back, and that Monday's appointment was only going to bring bad news. But it brought just the opposite! All those "pains" I have been sure are tumors growing, are just my body getting back to working properly again. :)
GOD has shown me over and over these past few months, that I can not worry about the future. We are only given today to focus on. And NO amount of worry, or planning will change the outcome of the future. GOD has it in HIS hands. Only todays worries matter. :D Thank-you for sharing this.
As always, you are in my prayers dear friend! And I might be praying that you do get a lunch invite from a sweet guy... ;D
Angel
Oh Angel, I'm so glad that your body is slowly getting back to normal!! "Not worrying" is such a hard thing to do, and the more important something is to us, the harder it is not to worry ... even when we know in our heads that God wants what is best for us and would never do anything to harm us, our hearts still have such a hard time learning to trust Him. I think "trust" is going to be my watchword for myself and for my prayers for you in 2016, because this is a struggle that is not going to go away for either of us. I'm so blessed to have you as my friend!!
Delete(And as always happens, the guy had lunch with another girl instead ... it's kind of a weird relief by this point, because I think if a man ever did ask me out, I'd be so shocked that I'd just fall down on the floor! ;-) )
Love you Angel!! Take care of yourself - I will keep praying for you!!
Lots of love,
Vicki
I love this, Vicki...and yes, how often do we not take God exactly at His word? I just read some stuff about the hardships of beginning a medical practice and massive suicidal burnout and ahhh I don't want to consider what might lay ahead...but everything you said here. What are today's pressing issues, and what can I do about them? There's no way and no reason to worry about all of the future - and we've already been told not to. Thank you for the reminder!!
ReplyDeleteand I'm praying for you as this semester gets underway! <3