Yup, it's 1:16AM here in the Midwest

Source: quotediary.me via Debbie on Pinterest

Just as soon as I finish this Spanish paper, I'll head to bed ...

Love, Vicki

Ready to give an answer?

I sat in the next-to-top row of the lecture hall this afternoon, staring down at the professor with my mouth hanging open. All thirty rows of students below turned to look at me, waiting for my answer. I swallowed.

"Well?" the professor urged. "You said that it's inaccurate to state that religion is always negative and has never positively affected history. Now I want you to tell me one religion that has been good for people and never persecuted or killed anybody in all history."

I knew what I wanted to say, what is really true - that true Christianity, a born-again relationship with Jesus Christ, has always been good for everyone - but I knew that the professor would bring up the Crusades; so all that would come out was, "Well, I'm not saying that religious people haven't done horrible things in the name of religion in history, but I think it's unfair to say that all religions are exclusively bad. There is a big difference between people who claim a religion and people who actually live it out."

"That's exactly my point," the professor replied gleefully. "It's the devotees, you radicals who believe everything and go out and do these things! It's not the people who go to church on Easter and Christmas who are the problem, it's the people who believe every word in the Bible or the Quran and live their whole lives that way!"

My mouth went open and closed like a fish out of water. Because that's what I was. What do I say when someone says I'm a radical, the problem of the universe? I knew there was something I should say, some answer that skilled apologists would give; but I looked down at the inexorable professor and the gullible young students staring at me, and I couldn't find that answer.

I sat down.

And I got mad.

I've been mad all the rest of the day. I should know better than to let myself get stumped in an argument like that, even by a university professor. I've been surrounded by Biblical knowledge my whole life - rich Bible-based preaching; gentle heart-nurture from my parents and pastors; Creation science; apologetics; Christian textbooks that applied scientific and historical concepts to Biblical understanding.

I know this stuff. I've held debates with myself in bed at 2:00 in the morning over this stuff. I've devoured books on this stuff, of my own accord. So why, when I'm faced with an actual unbeliever who is calling me out on what I believe, does my tongue get tied and my brain turn to mush?

In 1 Peter 3:15, it says "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear".

I definitely wasn't ready today.

Why not?

That's what I asked myself as I stalked angrily across campus scowling at everyone who shot quizzical looks my way. Why wasn't I ready? Supposedly, I live for moments like that. Supposedly, I'm a strong Christian with a passion for evangelization. Right?

Well, I thought about that for a while, and the Holy Spirit started to bring me an inkling of the truth. You see, I've been very human for the last year or so. I've worked very hard, and I've been very tired. I have come home from work, scarfed my dinner, and thrown myself down on the couch to ... watch TV. Read novels. Listen to music.

Not seek out a sermon. Not read my Bible. Not come onto Blogger and read the deep theology that many of you post.  :-)

I haven't practiced sharing the Gospel out loud with people - I make it known to my close classmates that I am a Christian, but I rarely or never tell them what that really means and why Jesus is so important to me. I tell myself I'm too busy to go to Bible study groups on campus anymore. I've been catching up on sleep most Sunday mornings this semester, and busy Sunday evenings with homework.

Someone once said that our hearts are like sponges. I see that now. When I'm not soaking myself in truth, there will be no truth to run out when I'm squeezed.

I was squeezed today, and nothing came out.

I'm mad, and I hope and pray that this is the beginning of a massive heart-change for me. God, I want to be used by You to reach this world. I really, really do. Please, help me to live like it. Help me to fill myself with truth so that when I'm squeezed - when I'm even just jostled - the truth and love of Christ will come spilling out of me.

Soli Deo gloria,
Vicki 

First Prize in the Ultimate Mind-Blowing Movie Quote Quiz

Yes, at long last, Alex, here is your prize:

You can download it at this link so you can resize it to fit your blog.  :-)

Congratulations again on winning first prize!!

Love,

Vicki

Saturday!

I love Saturdays! Here are some of the things I'm up to today:

- Working on Jessica's fun tag. For the "three minutes left to live" question, she asked me to get creative; so I'm writing a little suspense mini-story, both to have some fun with the tag and to let you guys get a sample of my fiction writing skills. I talk a lot about the stories that I write (or used to, before full-time college), but I've never given you a sample, to my knowledge. So I thought that would be fun.

- Finishing another music video. I've been working on a music video for Mary Black's song "My Youngest Son Came Home Today" ... it's a really sad song that is sung from the viewpoint of a mother whose youngest son was killed in a war. I'm making a tribute to WWI and WWII soldiers. Other than the fact that it makes me cry every time I watch it, I think it's quite good.

- Listening to different versions of Khachaturian's "Toccata", one of my favorite piano pieces that I learned in high school, to see if I can find anyone who interprets it similarly to the way I did. That's never very easy to do.  :-)

- Buying this   --->    T-shirt from Amazon - yippee!!! Sorry my screen shot isn't very good quality; the logo says "Starfleet Medical Academy" on it. Since I'm going into speech pathology now, I officially qualify as a member of the USS Enterprise medical team ... on a fan basis, at least.

- Trying to figure out how to get modern ringtones onto my very old flip-open cell phone. I don't think it's going to work.  :-(

- Rediscovering a couple of old story ideas that are actually quite good and would make a fabulous fantasy trilogy ... except I've never written fantasy in my life and I don't like it ... bummer ...

- Watching the full movie of "Bambi" online. And discovering that it links to a bunch of other full Disney movies online. Yay!

- Watching the rain fall.

- Smelling the lovely fresh air on this cool, moist day.

- Oh yes, and doing homework for statistics and social problems.

- And panicking because I have a stats test on Tuesday that I didn't know about.

All in all, it's a pretty typical Saturday.  ;-)

What have you been up to today?

Love,
Vicki

Disney Randomness

Yes, I am aware that I am too old for Disney, and that I should be attempting to divulge great wisdom and encouragement to you on this blog, and that it's only Wednesday and I don't yet have my weekend license to be frivolous ...

... but I just felt like Disney tonight.  :-)

Oh yes - these are just my personal choices. Absolutely no offense to your own favorite characters.  :-)

***

Vicki's Top 10 Disney Heroines

 10. Perdita

 9. Aurora

8. Belle

 

7. Maid Marian

 6. Mulan

 5. Jasmine

 4. Snow White

3. Rapunzel

 2. Pocahontas

 1. Jane 

***

Vicki's Top 10 Disney Heroes

10. Woody

 9. Dodger

 8. Bernard

 7. The Beast (NOT his human form, Prince Adam ...)

6. Prince Philip

 5. Tarzan

 4. Robin Hood

3. Basil

 2. Aladdin

 By far #1 - Flynn Rider

***

Vicki's Top 10 Disney Sidekicks, Jokesters, Background Characters, and Comic Relief
(yes, Tangled gets three entries ...)

10. The drunk old guy in the diaper

 9. Tito

 8. Little John

 7. Jasper and Horace

 6. Sebastian

 5. Maximus

 4. The Genie

 3. Lumiere

 2. Pascal

 1. Clopin 

***

Vicki's Top 10 Most Awful Disney Villains

Really Awful:

5. Ratigan

 4. Frollo

 3. Jafar

 2. Maleficent

 1. Ursula 

Awfully Funny:

 

5. Sid

 4. Gaston

 3. Amos Slade

2. Medusa

 1. Cruella de Ville

***

Semper Disney ...

:-)  :-)  :-)

Love,
Vicki 

Onward

Hello everyone! Spring break is over and it's back to real life again today, and I jumped back into my jobs and classes with both feet! Even though the hustle and bustle was a bit of a rude awakening after the peace and quiet of the last week, it was nice to see my friends and coworkers again and nice to walk run frantically around outside in the sunshine.  ;-)

I took some time this evening to read what's been going on in the lives of my dear blog friends; and I see that it's been a busy spring for many of you - courtships, new siblings, works published, certification tests, spiritual commitments revolutionized - I'm so happy for all of you! It's such an encouragement to see God working in the lives of the folks in our blog community, because He is doing some great things and bringing glory and honor to His name through all of your testimonies. I'm blessed to know so many sweet, beautiful Christian sisters!  :-)

It also makes me step back and take a look at my own life; and I do so with mixed feelings. Part of me feels quite discouraged. I am 23 years old, still struggling through a bachelor's degree, and have absolutely no prospect of ever dating, marrying or starting my own family. I have traded many of the concrete skills that I used to have, like needlework and arranging church music, for esoteric skills like statistical analyses and research implementation. Things that are important to me have been pushed aside; things I don't really care about have become pressing. Already at my young age, I see mistakes that I've made in my life, things I should have done that would have me at a radically different place than I am now.

But at the same time, I know that Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:12, "For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."

It's not wise for me to compare my life to others', because God isn't going to fashion me the same way He's going to fashion you. He has different purposes for each of us, and He leads us in ways that seem strange even to ourselves. The old saying - "The Lord moves in mysterious ways" - is very true.

So I also try to look at the bright side of my life. I've learned a lot in the last year and a half. Through contrasts and examples, I've gained a stronger focus on the things that really matter to me - good, deep thinking above all, as well as simplicity, modesty, love, and an uncompromising testimony. I've had teachers and my family guide me into realizing some of my gifts, and I'm trying to find ways to use them to benefit the Body of Christ as well as reach the lost. I've met people who have sharpened my image of who I want to be.

So I struggle onward, not looking around me, but looking ahead - toward Jesus, the One Who has already come this way and knows just where I need to go next. My life doesn't look the way I think it should, but He is working everything out for my good as long as I trust Him and follow Him. And that's enough. I don't need to know where I will end up; I just need to know that He knows and that I am leaning on Him.

I was reminded of this very sweetly today through Fernando Ortega's song "The Good Shepherd" ... it's a simple song that reminds us how Jesus knows us and loves us deeply, and no one can ever take us out of His hand. Here is the song:

It's difficult to keep trusting Him, but He is the only One Whom I can trust to lead me safely through this life. He is the One Who designed me, formed me, wrote out my life's story and will bring it to completion. And He won't just finish it with a period - finis. If I put my focus on enjoying Him and drinking in His love, He will finish it with an exclamation point - Well Done!

This is what I hope and pray for, that no matter what it looks like now, my life will count for Him and please Him. Father in Heaven, please grant me that I might bring glory and honor to You!

(Just like you all are doing ... keep running the race and pressing on in the faith, sisters and brothers in Christ!! Have a blessed evening!)

Lots of love,
Vicki

Irish Dreams

Where does it lead?

What is inside?

What used to be up there?

Who used to live there?

How did they used to get there?

Can I live there?

Keep dreaming about what is, what was, and what could be ... that's the heritage of being Irish.  :-)

Love,

Vicki