Looking back on 2013 ...

Can you believe that we're coming to the end of another year? I certainly can't! The end of 2012 feels like it was just a blink ago, and when I look at all the things that happened and that I did this year, I wonder how I managed to squeeze it all into such a short time.

Looking back to last year's summing-up post, I actually did better on my 2013 goals than I expected to:

- Take time to be more feminine and graceful. I'm much more conscious of my clothing and hairstyle choices now than I was a year ago. Recently I've been experimenting with clothing that is looser and more flowing than my normal no-nonsense styles, and I also try not to put my hair up as often as I used to. In the future, I might try some cute dresses and shoes from ModCloth and experiment with my hair color and style to make it more fun to wear down.  :-)

- Rebuild neglected friendships. Facebook has been a huge help in this area. I reached out to virtually all of the friends I had in mind when I made this resolution last year, whether through Facebook or by mail, and communicate with several of them semi-regularly. Yay!

- Focus on reality, not imagination. Eeah, yeah, I haven't done so well in this area. But truthfully, this is something I'll be wrestling with my whole life, so I'm not too surprised that I haven't made much progress in a year.

- Make a decision on grad school. Yes, I have! I will be going on to earn an advanced degree in hearing diagnosis and therapy, and then after getting established in my career for a couple of years, I will take a look at going to medical school. This is something that has tormented me for YEARS, so it's such a wonderful feeling to have a clear idea of where I'm going, at least for the time being.

- Make plans to travel. I have been looking into some things, nothing definite yet, but I'll make sure to take my camera along when I do!  ;-)

- Prioritize Internet time. Definitely a huge, monster, epic fail. This year's Internet-life balance has been worse than ever before, even damaging my grades and the quality of my work. This will be an area of serious focus and prayer for 2014.

And a few random things I did and experienced this year:

- Joined Pinterest and Facebook. I hate to put such trivial things first, but these two memberships have radically changed my life in ways, both good and bad, that I could never have foreseen.

- Was invited to be a student delegate at a university-wide diversity conference. It was magical to get to talk with people from incredibly diverse backgrounds about the future of our culture and the world we will pass on to our children.

- Decided on my career path. I still haven't experienced the epiphany that I always associated with finding my "dream" for my life, but I love what I'm studying and know that I'll be very happy in it, so I think I'm content.  :-)

- Served as a student leader in two student organizations. That doesn't sound like much, but considering my commitment issues, it's a pretty big accomplishment!

- Massively improved my Spanish-speaking skills. I never would have believed a few years ago that I could walk into a Spanish bakery and converse about college and medical careers with the proprietor. ¡Pero yo puedo! - but I can! Praise God for His help in this challenging but rewarding area.

- Managed to maintain friendships for more than one semester, for the first time in my collegiate life. No idea why it's taken me so long to do this, but I'm very happy about it!

- Successfully completed my first professional writing project. I can't give you too many details because it's going to be distributed nationwide under my real name, but yes, I was paid to write something!

- Saw one of my favorite singers live in concert. Again, I can't tell you who it was, unfortunately, but it was AWESOME and one of the coolest things I've ever done!

What have been the highlights of your 2013? Drop me a comment and let me know!

Hugs,
Vicki

The Writer's Secret

This afternoon started out as a normal afternoon.

I wasn't feeling very well, so I curled up on the sofa under a fuzzy blanket, and planned to while away the afternoon by watching Return of the Jedi and wrapping my headphone cords with colorful embroidery floss. I had no computer on except for my tablet, which was playing soft music, and I wasn't thinking about much besides keeping my floss untangled.

Little did I know what adventure awaited me.

They came out of nowhere. Two dashing young inventors wearing shirtsleeves and waistcoats and, of course, goggles - one with his pushed recklessly up into his curly ginger hair, the other with his wrapped neatly across his gray tweed roadster hat. They approached me politely and the one with the hat pulled it off. "Hello, love," said the younger of the two, the ginger one, taking my hand and kissing it gallantly. "I say, we're in a bit of a fix."

"That's right," the older dark-haired one stepped in, fiddling shyly with his pocket watch. "You see - our entire world is under attack by a brutal madman, and it's up to us to stop him."

"But we need a story," the younger one explained. He got down on one knee next to the couch and let his blue-green eyes twinkle over a winsome crinkled smile. "We need someone to create us a world and the equipment that we'll use to fight this man and stop him. You're the one who can write this story for us."

"Me!" I dropped my headphone cords and stared at them in shock. "I've never written a story like that before! I don't think you've got the right person!"

"Yes, we do." The older one sat down next to me on the sofa and took my hands, his whole face alight with eagerness and confidence. "We know you can do it - we've looked everywhere for the one who will write this story in the very best way, and we knew you were the girl for the job. Love, we'll be right here to help you. We know how it's supposed to go. Just give us life and take us where we need to go, and we'll do the rest."

"You can help us stop this madman!" The younger one pulled a folded paper out of his pocket and spread it out on my lap. It was a hastily sketched blueprint that sent chills down my spine. "There, I saw you shiver. Is this what you want to happen to us?"

I looked half-fearfully at his sober face. "Would it really happen?"

"It certainly would."

I looked back down at the blueprint and felt the weight of responsibility fall into my shoulders. They were right - I needed to write this story for them. This was a story that needed to be told, and these young men needed my help and my words to create their world. Who would do it, if not me? When they had come to me specifically and asked me for help?

I folded up the paper and held it in both hands as I looked up into their shining, grease-smudged faces. "I'll do it."

Each of them took one of my hands in both of theirs and pressed it joyfully, and their eyes shone with tears of gladness. "Thank you," the older one whispered. The younger one pressed his lips to my hand, and I felt two tears fall onto my wrist.

"We'll stay nearby and help you with this until you write it." It sounded so innocent. But I've been a writer for many years - I knew that what he really meant meant was that their faces were now imprinted in my writer's brain, and that they would stay there, haunting me, until I put their story down on paper. I knew that when I said "I will," I was giving a part of my life into their hands, agreeing to watch them write their own story while my fingers flew as fast as they could across the keyboard, trying to keep up. All they were really asking was to live for a little while through my heart and my hands.

This is the writer's secret. As I watched them take their leave and stride out the door, I turned to the Internet to start doing my research, because I knew they would soon be back. A new story had come, and I was chosen to write it.

And I couldn't be happier.

Complicated

Navigating through this life is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be.

Life seemed so simple when I perched on my little chair in Sunday school and listened to the lesson. Don't lie. Don't cheat. Don't steal. Obey your parents, brush your teeth and eat your vegetables. Sure, I thought. I got this. Piece of cake.

When I got to high school, it still seemed simple. Save your purity for marriage. Don't consume alcohol, drugs, or rock music. Dress modestly. Wait and practice your homemaking skills until the right man comes along sometime around your nineteenth or twentieth birthday, and then you'll fall in love and get married and everything will be peachy. Sure, I thought. I got this. Piece of cake.

Except it's not.


I may not struggle with alcohol or lack of femininity, and I somehow manage to eat my vegetables, but life isn't nearly as cut-and-dried as it seemed like it would be. I never thought it would be possible to find myself singing along with pop and hard rock songs, yet they've become as necessary to my daily functioning as my high doses of caffeine. The thought of being attracted to a man who wasn't a Christian sounded absurd, and yet now I know it's dangerously possible. Dressing modestly always seemed easy, but when I'm surrounded by long, bare legs all day, the whisper to show a little skin gets louder than I ever thought it would.

But this complexity goes beyond temptation to sin, too. Whoever would have thought that the guy who drinks and curses could also be delightfully chivalrous? Who would think that the sweet, dedicated Christian girl could annoy the daylights out of you? Who would guess that you could be faced with the choice to go to work early and get things done or sit quietly in the sun and refresh your mind to be more productive - and there would be no right answer?

Life is complicated, and it doesn't always have one right answer.

I never could have believed that I would be in this college, doing the things I'm doing now. I'm twenty-five years old (yes, I had a birthday) - I thought surely I'd be married with several children by now, living in a nice peaceful little house, taking my little ones on field trips and finally mastering the art of keeping a home. Instead, I'm getting up early to go to a lab and test people's ears, staying out late to help lead meetings in Spanish, and trying to find time in between to go to class, hang out with awesome Christian friends, and work behind the scenes to support autism and fight abortion. No husband, peaceful cottage, or homeschooled little ones in sight.

But I have to say, even with all the complexities and perplexities that the world contains when it isn't completely black and white, I wouldn't want it any other way. It forces me to walk closer to Christ and rely more on His presence when my path is dappled with shades of gray than it does when it's in stark shadows of black and white. When I know something is right or wrong, I can choose the right on my own. But when I come up against situations that are a mixture, a mystery, or a choice between two equally good or bad things, then I'm forced to rely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the principles of Scripture to guide me through.

Life certainly isn't easy. But I'm loving it.