Onward

Hello everyone! Spring break is over and it's back to real life again today, and I jumped back into my jobs and classes with both feet! Even though the hustle and bustle was a bit of a rude awakening after the peace and quiet of the last week, it was nice to see my friends and coworkers again and nice to walk run frantically around outside in the sunshine.  ;-)

I took some time this evening to read what's been going on in the lives of my dear blog friends; and I see that it's been a busy spring for many of you - courtships, new siblings, works published, certification tests, spiritual commitments revolutionized - I'm so happy for all of you! It's such an encouragement to see God working in the lives of the folks in our blog community, because He is doing some great things and bringing glory and honor to His name through all of your testimonies. I'm blessed to know so many sweet, beautiful Christian sisters!  :-)

It also makes me step back and take a look at my own life; and I do so with mixed feelings. Part of me feels quite discouraged. I am 23 years old, still struggling through a bachelor's degree, and have absolutely no prospect of ever dating, marrying or starting my own family. I have traded many of the concrete skills that I used to have, like needlework and arranging church music, for esoteric skills like statistical analyses and research implementation. Things that are important to me have been pushed aside; things I don't really care about have become pressing. Already at my young age, I see mistakes that I've made in my life, things I should have done that would have me at a radically different place than I am now.

But at the same time, I know that Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:12, "For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."

It's not wise for me to compare my life to others', because God isn't going to fashion me the same way He's going to fashion you. He has different purposes for each of us, and He leads us in ways that seem strange even to ourselves. The old saying - "The Lord moves in mysterious ways" - is very true.

So I also try to look at the bright side of my life. I've learned a lot in the last year and a half. Through contrasts and examples, I've gained a stronger focus on the things that really matter to me - good, deep thinking above all, as well as simplicity, modesty, love, and an uncompromising testimony. I've had teachers and my family guide me into realizing some of my gifts, and I'm trying to find ways to use them to benefit the Body of Christ as well as reach the lost. I've met people who have sharpened my image of who I want to be.

So I struggle onward, not looking around me, but looking ahead - toward Jesus, the One Who has already come this way and knows just where I need to go next. My life doesn't look the way I think it should, but He is working everything out for my good as long as I trust Him and follow Him. And that's enough. I don't need to know where I will end up; I just need to know that He knows and that I am leaning on Him.

I was reminded of this very sweetly today through Fernando Ortega's song "The Good Shepherd" ... it's a simple song that reminds us how Jesus knows us and loves us deeply, and no one can ever take us out of His hand. Here is the song:

It's difficult to keep trusting Him, but He is the only One Whom I can trust to lead me safely through this life. He is the One Who designed me, formed me, wrote out my life's story and will bring it to completion. And He won't just finish it with a period - finis. If I put my focus on enjoying Him and drinking in His love, He will finish it with an exclamation point - Well Done!

This is what I hope and pray for, that no matter what it looks like now, my life will count for Him and please Him. Father in Heaven, please grant me that I might bring glory and honor to You!

(Just like you all are doing ... keep running the race and pressing on in the faith, sisters and brothers in Christ!! Have a blessed evening!)

Lots of love,
Vicki