I Am the Princess

From here

I am the princess.

I am the one who stays locked inside Vicki's heart day after day, walking the floor of my narrow prison, locked and barred far away from anyone who might wander near me and find that I exist.

I am dreams of holding hands on warm summer nights; I am dreams of goodnight kisses, long conversations and diamond rings. I am her dreams of marriage - her dreams of being desired, sought out, and valued. I am longings for building a home and family; I am visions of quiet mornings with her own child in her arms.

I never escape this prison.

Sometimes, when all the world is quiet, she lets me out for a little while, out onto my balcony far above the real world; and I watch. I look at the men and women holding hands, I see them rejoicing in the love that God has created in their hearts ... and I wonder. Will that ever be me? Will I ever break out of this place and experience it for myself?

They tell me that, on the outside, she is small and plain - they say she's aloof, shy, introverted; she wears plain clothes and tries to pass herself off as an awkward, undesirable geek. She never lets anyone too near this place where she keeps me. I've heard the voices of a few women who were told about me, in hushed whispers outside my prison door; but none of them have ever crossed my threshold. I've heard men's voices close by, but never seen them, never even caught a glimpse.

She can't afford to let the rest of the world see me. Almost no one knows about this soft, feminine place deep in her heart, where I live. She doesn't have time to admit to all the treasures she keeps locked up in here with me - her love of romance, moonlight, and poetry; her weary desire to lay her independence down and let her strong husband look after her for a while; her dreams of building a beautiful, healthful, God-honoring home with her own hands. I'm not compatible with her life, she says. She's busy with her exams and clubs and work. She doesn't have time for me, and she dares not let anyone know I exist.

And so I pace the tiny room of this silent prison, day after day - denied, forsaken, ignored.

Yet I know that, somewhere, there is a prince who is looking for me. Someday he'll break down these walls that she has set up all around me - all of her protests and avowals of single independence will do no good. In his own gentle, patient way, he'll work his way deeper and deeper inside this castle of her heart, until he reaches my door ... I'll hear his voice, and I'll know that he's the one sent to rescue me; and I will give him the key, the precious key I carry around my neck.

And then I'll throw open these doors and show him all of the wonderful things I've made and saved up here for our life together - I'll give him every drop of the love I've waited so long to give. It will be a fight for him to get here, but he'll come. He'll be strong and godly and everything I've ever waited and hoped for; and I will be as much of his everything as I can possibly be. Never again will I be locked up in this tower, but I can ride with him into his kingdom, finally free to live and rejoice and show the world how beautiful I am and how beautiful our love can be.

He is my prince, and I am his princess. I'll never give up hope.