Literary Mashup Tag

Hey guys! I saw this tag on a reeeeeally old post on Miss Dashwood's blog, Yet Another Period Drama Blog, and it looked like so much fun that I wanted to try it myself! Technically I'm supposed to tag people to try it, but I'm just throwing it out there for fun, and anyone who thinks it looks fun is welcome to try it too!

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First, choose 12 literary characters BEFORE reading the rest of the tag. Here are mine:

1. Dr. John Watson
2. Catherine Morland
3. St. John Rivers
4. Emma Woodhouse
5. Sherlock Holmes
6. Sydney Carton
7. Jane Eyre
8. Alan Breck Stewart
9. Edward Rochester
10. Silas Marner
11. Fitzwilliam Darcy
12. Lucy Steele

And now, the tag will commence:

1. Who would make a better college professor, #6 or #11?

My #6 is Sydney Carton and my #11 is Mr. Darcy ... I would definitely say Mr. Darcy. Poor Sydney is too depressed to stay sober most of the time, let alone lecture about something.

"Hand over the linens, and nobody gets hurt"

2. Number 12 sends #8 out on a mission. What is it? Does it succeed?

Lucy Steele sends Alan Breck out on a mission ... wow ... I would say, since she is flippant and he has excellent taste in fabrics and fashion, she is probably sending him on a mission to smuggle some kind of exotic fabric back from the Orient; and knowing Alan, I would say that it will ultimately succeed after a series of dramatic escapades and near-mishaps. But that pairing is absolutely beyond weird.

3. What is, or what would be, #9's favorite book?

Edward Rochester? Hmmm ... something dark and Gothic. Perhaps a supernatural murder story, with ghosts and candlelit rooms and haunted cathedrals. But I don't know any specific books like that.

4. Would it make more sense for #2 to swear fealty to #6 or the other way around?

Eeah, Catherine Morland and Sydney Carton ... both equally self-absorbed and helpless, actually ... I think it would make ever-so-slightly more sense for Catherine to swear fealty to Sydney, because I really can't see Sydney taking any interest whatsoever in Catherine.

5. Number 5 is looking for a roommate. Should he room with #9 or #10?

Sherlock Holmes is looking for a roommate ... yep, we've all heard that before! Edward Rochester and Silas Marner are the choices, and I would have to suggest Silas Marner - Rochester and Holmes would tear each other to pieces, but Silas Marner and his odd miserly ways would be a fascinating (if slightly irritating) study for Holmes in his free time.

6. Number 2, #7, and #12 are going out to dinner. Where are they going, and what do they discuss?

Catherine Morland, Jane Eyre, and Lucy Steele would go to someplace fairly private, like a small inn; Lucy would dominate the conversation, speaking on such frivolous topics as she is wont to do, while Catherine would listen in boredom and submit a few comments here and there. Jane, on the other hand, would sit quietly, possibly with some kind of handiwork or a discreet book, and she would listen and marvel at the frivolity of both of the other ladies.

7. Number 3 challenges #10 to a duel. Who wins?

St. John Rivers and Silas Marner in a duel! How shocking! Silas would fight valiantly for whatever it was he was defending, but of course St. John would win in the end.  :-(

8. If #1 stole #8's most precious possession, how would he get it back?

So, Dr. Watson stole one of Alan Breck's golden buttons, eh? Alan Breck would quite grandly challenge Dr. Watson to a duel, which I doubt he would accept - he would either sternly and condescendingly give the button back, or summon the police - after which summons Alan Breck would beat a hasty retreat.

9. Suggest a story title in which #7 and #12 both attain what they want.

Peace and Power. Jane Eyre achieved peace and love in her life, and Lucy Steele got the position and money that she wanted.

"How about ... no"

10. What kind of plot device would you have to use to get #1 and #4 to work together?

Dr. Watson and Emma Woodhouse? That's easy - they would put their heads together to find a wife for Sherlock Holmes!

11. If #7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?

Jane Eyre and I would get along like angels. She is everything I aspire to be in a woman, and I would hope we could spend the weekend in quiet conversation, with me sitting awestruck at her feet and asking her advice on every subject relating to life and love.

12. If you could command #3 to perform any service or task for you, what would it be?

I am terribly in awe of St. John Rivers despite all of his coldness ... the only thing I could muster the courage to ask him for would be a prayer or a blessing!

13. If #2 had to choose sides between #4 and #5, which side would she choose?

If Catherine Morland had to choose between Emma Woodhouse and Sherlock Holmes, she would immediately and unreservedly choose Sherlock Holmes - Catherine is fascinated by all things dark and mysterious, and Holmes certainly fits into those two categories! Besides, she would probably try to wheedle Holmes into letting her help on a case ... which would disgust him to no end, but anyway ...

14. What might #10 shout out while charging into battle?

Silas Marner? In battle? Probably either "oh dear" or "bah".

15. If you had to choose a song to describe #3, what would it be?

A song to describe St. John ... my sister Heather quite wisely suggested "Love Divine, All Loves Excelling". It has a verse praying for the achievement of sinless perfection, which is really what St. John was pursuing after all. My sister is schmart.  ;-)

16. Number 1, 6, and 12 are having a dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets it?

Lucy Steele beats Dr. Watson and Sydney Carton any day ... for one thing, I don't think Sydney really ever consumes anything besides rotgut whiskey; and for another, Dr. Watson is much too polite to take anything from a lady; and to top all that, Lucy Steele is a terribly grasping individual and she would rather stomp on the gentlemen's faces than give up any shred of something she wanted. (Yup, I hate Lucy Steele.)

17. What would #5 likely be arrested for?

Sherlock Holmes is likely to be arrested on any variety of fascinating charges, from trespassing to destruction of private property to drug possession to government infiltration ... yeah, just about anything.

18. What is #6's secret?

*Gasp of pain*  Sydney Carton really does have a secret, and if you read A Tale of Two Cities you'll know it ... his secret is his heart. His beautiful, noble, idealistic heart, that is broken and chained by his depression, hopelessness and self-hatred. There is no man or woman in all of literature that could have attained and loved more than Sydney, if he had only had the chance.

"Which way did he go?"

19. If #11 and #9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?

Mr. Darcy and Mr. Rochester! How fascinating! I would love to see a meeting between these two gentlemen ... I believe Mr. Rochester would probably win a race, simply because he would not spare his horses or watch out for their safety and health the way dear Mr. Darcy would.

20. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, who would you be more comfortable walking with, #7 or #8?

Umm, I think I'd have to choose Alan Breck over Jane Eyre here ... Alan is a perfect, maybe even overly exaggerated, gentleman; and I have no doubt that he would instantly and aggressively come to my rescue if we met with any would-be thugs or robbers. And you know, I would like to see that ... !  :-)

21. Number 1 and #9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by #4's sinister secret organization. Number 11 volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that s/he is actually a spy for #4. Meanwhile, #4 has kidnapped #12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of #5, they seek out #3, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fiction?

Wow! Okay, let's restate this here:

"The time portal is broken and the universe is in an uproar. Dr. John Watson finds himself separated from Sherlock Holmes and trapped in 1840's England, which is on the brink of destruction: Queen Victoria and her husband are being held hostage by a widespread and deadly secret organization, rumored to be headed by the wealthy, beautiful and cunning Emma Woodhouse. Watson's only ally is the headstrong and unpredictable Edward Rochester. Rochester's ancestral home, Thornfield, has been converted into a battle headquarters for the forces trying to rescue the queen, and some of the brightest minds in England - from all ages of history - have convened there to hatch a plan to destroy Woodhouse's evil organization and reclaim the queen and the throne.

"Rochester finds the lost and confused Watson wandering the streets of the London he no longer recognizes, and he brings him back to Thornfield. Holmes has already arrived - he is working with Fitzwilliam Darcy and other thinkers and strategists, forming a plan to discover the organization's heart and capture Emma Woodhouse. In less than an hour, Holmes has sketched a plan to use disguises and bribes to work their way into the organization from the outside, and the rescue forces agree wholeheartedly.

"But tragedy strikes that night when Woodhouse's forces attack Thornfield, kidnapping the hysterical Lucy Steele and leaving Holmes badly wounded. Darcy has also disappeared. Holmes immediately deduces that Darcy was a spy for Woodhouse. Now that their plan is exposed, they will likely be under attack from the organization again, and soon. They must act quickly to strike the organization and avoid another attack on Thornfield.

"Holmes, who is weakening rapidly, tells Watson that he believes the key to destroying the organization can be found with the mysterious St. John Rivers, a clergyman who has taken up arms and become a lethal loner, making daring and deadly midnight strikes against the organization's strongholds. The rescue forces follow Holmes' advice, and Rivers (after some hesitation) agrees to reveal his plan: to capture Emma Woodhouse's aging father. With the old man held at Thornfield, likely in a state of terror and nervous panic, Woodhouse will be willing to negotiate - at any price. But who will be courageous enough to break into Hartfield and carry off the old man?"

This would be the craziest novel I ever read ... and I would title it Rendezvous at Thornfield.

*****

This was a super fun tag, and especially since the whole family's been snowed in for 3 days! I'd love to read your version, if you're snowed in too and want to give it a try!  :-D

Hugs!!
~ Vicki