Yesterday was a really bad day for me ... I got up late, I didn't feel the best, it was very hot, and I'm sure there were a few of those female hormones thrown in as well; and so I childishly whipped myself up a nice blue pity party and sulked in it all day.
I deleted the post that I wrote yesterday in my bad mood, because it was whiny, self-absorbed, bitter, and ultimately untrue. Those of you who read it, I'm very sorry. It was a bad example and a bad fit of bad temper.
I have been blessed beyond belief, in every area of my life. I have a body and mind that are healthy and allow me to serve others; I have the love of my big, wonderful family and quite a few friends; I have work that allows me to be active, engaged, and making a difference for others; and I'm getting to attend a respected university without racking up massive amounts of debt.
No, I don't yet have a boyfriend. But really, in the full scope of life, does it really matter that much? God will always be right here with me regardless of whether I get married or live with my parents until I'm fifty - and this is a very special time in my life, when I can walk with Him alone and give Him my undivided attention. There will be no time when I can more fully experience His tender care as a Father than now, when I am still in the role of a child; and there will be no time when I can be more open and free to let God's love flow through me to those around me. God is holding me close and protecting me during this vulnerable time, and He wants me to reach out to the other lonely and hurting hearts around me, not to sit in a corner and cry for the one thing I don't yet have.So, my sisters, I am sorry for letting my ugly sin show to you yesterday. My attitude was wrong and hurtful, to you, to myself, and to God. Today, I am thankful for what I do have, and I resolve to give my desires for marriage into God's hands and not let them drag me down into self-pity anymore. Thanks to God for His abundant mercy!
With love,
Vicki
(Both of these adorable pictures were drawn by the incredibly talented Breezy Brookshire, whom I would encourage you to check out at her website, BreezyTulip.com!)
Awww, sending cyber hugs your way. I know what it is like to deal with heat, hormones, not feeling well and a bad mood on top of that. It is truly dreadful.
ReplyDeleteGod's blessings on you, Vicki!!!
A normal day. It called life & growth. We all have these days, no one is exempt. My heart goes out & I will pray. I know when I have those sort of days, I feel like such a failure, full of sin & devastatingly stubborn. And frankly, I just dont care. Thank you Lord that you are the God of restoration, the God of second chances, a just God too. Its those hard days that mold & shape us.
ReplyDeleteHang tight, put your hands on the plow... and never look back. :)
blessings upon blessings to you!
Rejoicing In Him, Patrizia
*hugs* I've found the heat can turn me into a mess faster than most things...and some days are just like that. I'm glad you're feeling better today.
ReplyDeleteI was just figuring out how close to 30 I'll be by the time I'm done with med school...and also looking at the abortion statistics for the year I was born. On the one hand it's like ahhhhh how will this work...but then again, it's a miracle I'm even alive - how could I ever want more than the incredible blessings I already have? But of course we do...I feel like circling that beautiful word yet in your post. :) I know when my older brother was most discouraged over being single, I think we both realized it was because he was not trusting God to give him the best - he felt like God was keeping something back. And now of course he's married to a lovely girl and has an adorable baby and even a church to pastor. :D The relationships he wanted to have earlier were completely wrong for him. So that's been a huge help for me to remember that whatever God's plan is, it's better than whatever fairy tale dream I could come up with, and all I have to do is trust that He LOVES me and is depriving me of absolutely nothing. :)
But as usual, I'm right where you're at...here's to contentment and encouraging each other to rest in Him! :)