Brave

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't recommend going to a secular song for your life's inspiration. Secular songs tend to put a lot of emphasis on finding strength inside yourself, in other people, in cosmic forces, etc. As a general rule, if you're looking for a song to inspire you, go with a hymn or other worship song that points you toward the cross.

But, that being said, I have found so much motivation in Josh Groban's new song, "Brave." I have officially adopted it as my theme song for going to medical school.

Wake up, wake up, the sun

Cannot wait for long

Reach out, reach out before it

Fades away

My opportunity for going to med school has never been better. I'm more mature than I was when I started college; I know how to work hard (even if I don't always do it) and get good grades, and I'm more aware of what it will really mean to put in the years of study and preparation.

But this window of time won't last forever. I need to reach out now, while the way is clear, and before this chance slips away.

You will find the warmth when you surrender

Smile into the fear and let it play

I was so scared of the whole idea of med school while I was struggling with it and trying to come to a decision; but as soon as I did, I felt much more peace and confidence. Oh, I'm still terrified and not sure if I can actually do it. But the fear is part of the journey. I want God to do great things in my life.

Hold on, hold on, so strong

Time just carries on

I'll be 37 when I'm 37, regardless of whether I'm many years into my practice as a speech therapist, deep into my years as a stay-at-home mom, or just emerging from the tunnel of my fellowship and establishing my own practice. Time just carries on.

All that you thought was wrong

Is pure again

You know, there was a time - and not as long ago as it feels like - that I thought it was ... if not exactly wrong, it just wasn't the best thing for girls to go to college. I was afraid to believe I might have a purpose and gifts that were my own, and that might not necessarily be directly tied to marriage. But God has shown me since that He loves me for myself, Vicki Sands, not just as the future wife of Mr. Right. It's okay to dream things for my own life and to want to do things on my own. I definitely desire and hope to get married - I admit, I'll be seriously disappointed if I don't, because I am a lonely romantic for sure! - but my world is so huge now that I know it's okay to walk with God alone, too.

You can't hide forever from the thunder

Look into the storm and feel the rain

So, what about moving away from home? That scares me half to death. But I can't hide from it forever - someday I'll have to be a real adult, whether living alone or with my husband; and you know what? What looks like a huge dark cloud from here might actually be awfully beautiful and exciting once I get there.

And then, of course, there's the chorus.

You wanna run away, run away
And you say

That it can't be so

Boy, do I ever! I want to run away - I want to say that it can't be so!

You wanna look away, look away
BUT YOU STAY

'Cause it's all so close

But I'm going to stay! I'm going to stay, because it is all so close, and the Lord will boost me up if ever I'm not strong enough!

When you stand up and hold out your hand,

In the face of what I don't understand -

My reason to be brave

I will stand up and hold out my hand, in the face of things that I - and people around me - may not always understand; and in doing so, I will become others' reason to be brave. I will do this.

Because there are so many people in my life who have done the exact same thing for me - they have stood up in the face of incredible things that I could never even comprehend; and they give me the courage to be brave in my comparatively easy and uncomplicated life. I want people coming after me to look up and see - "Well, Vicki did this, and she's small and childish and naive and a scatterbrained dreamer - surely if she can do this, I can, too!"

When you stand up and hold out your hand,

In the face of what I don't understand -

My reason to be brave

 Someday, I'd love to meet JG in person, or write to him, and tell him how much this song has inspired me, that he's my reason to be brave (in this song, at least), and that it's going to be an important part of getting me through the next 13 years ... in the meantime, I keep it on repeat on my iPod and CD player, and keep remembering to smile into the storms and see where God's plan is going to take me!

~ Vicki