I knowwww, I can't just say "by the way, my whole life is turned upside down" and then not follow up on it right away ... but I have allotted myself exactly 11 minutes to blog before I have to go do stats homework, so I can only drop a quick thought today.
I just finished eating dinner at a little study table on the top floor of our student union. I didn't choose it for any particular reason; it was open, so I grabbed it. Shortly after I unwrapped my Jimmy John's Vegetarian sandwich, my Internet conked out and refused to reconnect. So, with a shrug, I closed my computer and settled in to enjoy my dinner in peace.
The next part was the providential part: Three young men sat down at the table behind me, and started holding a Bible study.
Two of the youths were very new believers, still stumbling over concepts like "take up your cross" and "count the cost" (although what believer, young or old, doesn't stumble over those concepts sometimes!!). The older young man guided them gently with questions and allowed them to sit a moment after their "ooohh, I get it" moments. I firmly believe that God knocked out my Internet so I could listen to their study.
The theme was boldly speaking about Christ in daily life. My blood immediately ran cold - this is one of the deepest areas of struggle in my life. I try to model Christlike behavior; I will write and write until I'm blue in the face about my journey following Christ; but speaking about Him with my mouth chokes me up and makes me sick to my stomach. It is certainly good old unadorned fear, but it is also partly a reluctance to speak about something so sacred to me - just as I trip and choke over conversations about men whom I love or very close friends. I don't have words eloquent enough to do them justice - even less so my Christ.
But the youths' study gently reminded me that fear is not an option when it comes to witnessing. We won't get a pass for being shy or afraid to speak about Him. He will be ashamed of me if I am ashamed of Him. And too often ... I am.
BUT, but but but, this leads me to my ultimate question: How do you ladies talk about Jesus in your daily lives?
After I used 20 seconds of courage to stop and thank them for letting me listen in, I came downstairs and saw a young lady sitting by herself on a bench, and my first thought was OHMYGOODNESSIMUSTEVANGELIZEHER. However, the thought of unsolicitedly approaching someone sitting by themselves reminded me too much of the cult missionaries who always ambush me when I'm sitting or walking alone. The apostles did a bit of that, but only when they sensed an opening, like with the Ethiopian eunuch - typically, they were much more likely to either talk about Jesus as part of their normal interpersonal interactions, or else stand on the rooftops and proclaim Him and take questions from the crowds.
So I wonder - what does evangelism look like for you? Are you so in love with Him that you talk about Him easily, freely, beautifully? Or are you more like me, stumbling a bit over self-consciousness and crowd-pleasing tendencies?
(Drat, 11 minutes is up ... more about my crazy life to follow, after statistics ...)
Oh Vicki! You hit on a subject I have ALWAYS struggled with. Especially today.
ReplyDeleteI was at Sears, in the checkout line and there was an elderly "gentleman" ahead of me. He got to the cashier and handed him his items and with a loud voice told the cashier that item was marked 30 percent off. The cashier rang him up and asked the man if he had a phone number for the points program The old man yelled, "my phone number, why do you want my phone number?" The cashier tried to explain to the man the point system, and the old guy just got angrier and yelled, "you want my birthdate too?". And then went on to tell the cashier in a very hateful tone he needed to shave his head so he could look like a man (the cashier had long dreadlocks, pulled back). The cashier understandably got upset and asked another worker walking by to finish the transaction, he was not going to deal with the guy any longer. He walked over to another register, looked back at me and said "ma'am, I can take you over here." I felt SOOOO... bad for the cashier, and wanted to say something to encourage him, or just say I was praying for HIM. (he was a really kind, patient cashier). But I didn't say anything beyond, I hope you have a better day. And I have been slapping myself for not every since then.
I do like to speak of our LORD is conversations, after they have developed, but shamefully do struggle with just bringing HIM up to strangers.
When our pastor has spoke of witnessing, he says having an easy conversation usually makes people more responsive and less defensive. Who likes to be told right out they are bad. So yes, this is a struggle with me, and I am praying my LORD will give me the boldness I need to share HIS love.
For give my novel of a comment and babbling. But the LORD has used you to remind me to not be afraid, or ashamed. Thank-you so much for sharing your experience my friend!
Angel
Oh dear Angel, it's so hard to know what to say in those situations ... sometimes in a quick moment like that we don't make the choice we would make if we had more time. Sometimes in those cases, I pray that God would bring another person my way and give me a chance to try again!!
DeleteSpeaking about the Lord is, for me, a matter of vulnerability - something I struggle with mightily in many areas of my life. There are other precious things I don't talk about too much - my hopes for my future family, my writing, things like that - because I'm afraid of the pain that could result if someone attacks me in those tender areas. The thing that I need to keep reminding myself is that the Gospel is not private property. My dreams about the future, my personal hobbies - I can absolutely keep those private if I want to because they're mine. But the Gospel is for everyone. I have no right to keep it to myself just for fear of persecution or misunderstanding, no more than I would have the right to keep the cure for cancer a secret (a worn-out analogy, I know).
And I think your pastor is right; that's why I didn't end up swooping down on the girl I saw yesterday ... *grimace/chuckle* But I want to find joy in the Lord so I want and love to talk about Him in my conversations with my friends. It's a twofold prayer item. :-)
There, now I wrote YOU a novel in response!! ;-) I love you, my friend!
Thanks for the comment Vicki! So nice! I read this post about 15 minutes ago and (like most of what you write) it struck a cord with me. I do best with the "friendship evangelism" approach. I am most comfortable with the "friendship" evangelism. Even though I am not good or as bold as I should be. Confidence is not my strong point anyway. I do find it easier to incorporate talking about church and "God" in my normal conversations. I do that frequently. People then get an idea of where I stand. But somehow talking about Jesus and Salvation, specifically, is where people get rattled and my confidence fades. But I need to work on this! I was just thinking about it. Thank you very much, I love your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're definitely on the right track, Lexi! This is an area I could do better in, and I'm inspired to try. I wish I could interact with you in person and take some tips from you! :-)
DeleteI hope you're having a beautiful Lord's Day, my friend! I'm so thankful for you and your loving encouragement!! <3
Hugs!
Vicki
I think many of us who are introverted struggle with this - like you said, we don't proclaim our dearest, truest loves loudly no matter what they are. But you're also right that most of them don't /need/ loudly proclaimed and the Gospel /does/.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think your last line hit it exactly: "Are you so in love with Him that you talk about Him easily, freely, beautifully?" The closer I am to Him, the more able I am to talk about Him. That doesn't mean I don't go mute, don't stumble and want to disappear, don't usually find myself praying about the opportunities I missed and begging for some kind of redo to happen...but I've found no way out but closer to Him. I'm not very good at abiding, yet...and without that no fruit will happen. But I've also realized that it happens simultaneously - if I insist I can't obey until I'm closer, I can't /get/ closer. May we both learn this lesson.
And for us, that utterance may be given unto us, that we may open our mouths boldly in defense of the Gospel of Jesus Christ...
"If I insist I can't obey until I'm closer, I can't /get/ closer. May we both learn this lesson."
DeleteTHISSS. This is a dialog I have argued back and forth with myself in the bathtub many times. I feel so unworthy to share the Gospel on the days when I'm sick with guilt and fear and doubt; yet if I use my own sinfulness as an excuse not to do the right thing ... then I am denying the power of the Gospel and its ability to transcend my weaknesses.
As you said, the solution is to ask God to draw me closer to Himself - because the closer I am to Him, the more I will reflect His brightness.
You always sharpen me, dear friend, and you are one of my greatest blessings. I love you.
I went to my first MOPs meeting the other day and the speaker introduced herself by saying two things: first, that she was a mom with two delightful kids and secondly, she loves Jesus.
ReplyDeleteI was so struck by the simplicity of that last statement. I feel that I should be bold enough in casual conversation how much I love the Lord and how good He is to me. I think this is such a unique idea to so many; they know Christians are "religious" and "Bible believers" but when we speak of the mutual love between God and ourselves as naturally as we talk about the weather and latest sport activity I think it is catching and intriguing.
I still get nervous doing this! But I think, as Katherine Sophia mentioned, it comes through abiding and obeying and being so in love with Him that it naturally flows during random conversations.
At least that's my hope! :) Love to you!! SO excited to hear about your life soon!
Firstly - YAY on going to the MOPs group!!! Did that make everything feel even more real?? Please post more about that soon!!
DeleteBut secondly, you are right - it's like the old song says, "they will know we are Christians by our love". One of my biggest inspirations is a dear friend of mine who has only been a Christian for a couple of years; but her true, delighted love for God is so bright that she literally changes every place she goes. People know I'm conservative, a bit prudish, restrained; but do they see love in me? Certainly not like they see it in her. I don't know how to cultivate this kind of bright, confident love but I want it!!
I love you, dear friend! I hope you're feeling well and enjoying the approach of fall! <3
~ Vicki